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Home: Gnomely's Website Help: Computer Language


Computer Language
Webmaster Gnomely's Journal Entry:

Gnomely's Guide to Computer
Programming Languages
and Gnomenclature

computer language


Ah, the all important topic of computer languages.

Yup, computers have their own languages.

Quite a lot of them in fact.

If you don't know at least a little of computer programming languages they will do very nasty, sneaky things behind your website's back

And trust me on this one; computers aren't very forgiving at all.

You either do things their way or they'll send you into having reoccurring sitemares or heaven forbid into a total siteaster.

You need to become a computer linguist.

computer languagesActually, you need to learn Cyberese.

Really!

I can honestly confirm from personal observations that the sooner you learn Cyberese the happier you'll be.

I have to sadly tell you that I had to watch, on many occasions, my endearing webmaster companion Sue's eyes literally roll up inside her head when she tried to decipher the various computer programming languages in her early days of site building.

Who could blame her though?

It's very confusing at first. Literally anyone could freak-out!

There was also a great deal of a verbal temper tantrum that could rival the most obnoxious two year old with language that has had my ears ringing for days. (And mind you, my ears are already so stuffed so full of cotton that I can't really hear all that well to begin with.)

I tried my very best to intercede,
however. . .


For an amazingly advanced technological virtual entity with lots of good old fashioned hard drive supervised by the all knowing Mrs. Mother Board, I'm sorry to say that I have not been successful in teaching those different stubborn computer language types the universal linguistics of gnomish. (Go figure!)


Unfortunately, I'm afraid that all I've been able to gather so far is translation for the following more common computer language terms.

May I proudly present the first of its kind, your computer language reference resource guide. . .


*  Gnomely's Online Dictionary of  *
Computer Terminology:

  • CSS: Cyber Super Secrets

  • HTML: Hola Tsou Maksha Lega aka Hello in five different languages from the www (For you newbies, that the universally accepted shorthand for the World Wide Web).

  • Java Script: A prescription for gourmet coffee

  • RSS: Really Serious Sitemares

  • Blogging: A carefree romp through the cranberry bogs of New England

  • IT: Tag, you're IT!

  • SEO: Simply Exasperating Output

  • Spider: The universally revered mythical cyber deity of the land of SEO and favorite pet of Webmasters

  • Id Ten T: Computer error code automatically generated by ignorance.
    Just spell it out. . . ID10T

But thankfully, my trusty side kick Walter is an expert in the linguistics of cyberese.

Hey! 

Have you met Walter yet?


computer programming languages

Oh, so sorry, let me introduce you to a Gnome's best friend, Walter the Farting Dog.

Although Walter's expertise tends to be in the highly specialized area of the silent but sometimes deadly (SBD) languages. He is world renowned, mind you. Walter even has a whole series of webmaster help books written about him in many languages. (Walter is famous!)

Walter has graciously offered several suggestions for improving your fluency:

  • Click and Pray

  • Hire a professional translator

  • Refer to Gnomely's (Webmaster Extraordinaire and Cyber Genius) Online Dictionary of Computer Terminology

My promise to you, as an insatiable curious fellow webmaster:


Site Build It!


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Students

Check back often to discover which new and mysterious virtual cyber terms
have been researched and indexed to help you understand the most common terms in the various computer programming languages.



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